Saturday, September 11, 2004

'New blog', you say?

So, I got a fish yesterday since I don't have a roommate this term. It's name is Cap'n Cutthroat. I'm actually really proud of how fuckin cute he is. He's gold and has a black stripe down his back. I love him (WARNING: DISPLACED AFFECTION MAY OCCUR WHEN ONE IS IN A SINGLE.) I love him so much that I even got him food flakes that will make him poop less. Lauren was worried that this may just give him backup and lasting uncomfort. I reasurred her that this wasn't the case (BUT WHAT IF IT IS??)

Oh my LORD Katie is one funny mothah. Without asking her permission I am putting her latest email (a reply to the video's Emily made about her summer) right....HERE:

"two thumbs WAY up"

The film itself could never be described as something which goes down smooth, like a nice, rich lager. it is more a choppy series of events than an actual "film" with a "plot". it does, however, go down like a series of codeine tablets swallowed with 151, or time release oxy contin tablets crushed and then snorted through the nose one by one. typically, 2.0s are unable to live up to the original*, but in this case, i think the 2.0 stomped the original, in that i was included in it. especially flattering was the portrayal of my homeland as a dead field with dilapidated crap in it and snow falling in the background. props to the casting director who spotted the similarities between myself and a giant sumo wrestler in a diaper. this, the most giant asian since king kong is also meant to represent some other people living in minnesota at the time, although i am not them and thus do not address them. Although the film has no social message (or realy any discernable message at all) and will benefit no one, with cameos by snoop dogg in 1.0 and madonna in 2.0, this is a film that you can't afford to miss. "The Passion of the Christ" it is not, but bring the whole family nonetheless. and parents be warned: the emily doll^ is sure to be the hottest christmas toy since tickle me elmo and beanie babies, so keep your eyes peeled!


*my little sister and myself are an example of this.
^ emily doll will be available at Saks Fifth Avenue for a retail price of $899 for a 10" doll and $2,600 for a 3 foot "life size" playmate for your loser kid.

FUUUUNNNAYYY.

Last night I encountered my first RA infraction. A senior on my floor was drinking alcohol in the lounge (no open liquor in public spaces). I said "Excuse me, I know that we were drinking together earlier tonight and that I am still kinda drunk right now, but I am going to try to exert some authority over you and tell you to please throw away the beer...please." And he said "It's empty." And I crawled back to my room. Well, Jeremy says we should be strict for the first week, so, I did what I had to do. I also just gave away my fan to one of my residents who was throwing up. I'm hot.